Day 49

Men, I'm warning you right now this post is all about women stuff.

So the last couple of days have been really hard. One thing I have never mentioned is that about 3 years ago I was diagnosed with PMDD. One of my initial hopes was that with a healthy PCP lifestyle my symptoms would decrease. Well in fact this month it's here with a vengance. Some months are better than others, but when it's bad it's really bad. I have every single highlighted item on the list below and the ones in red are the ones that really interfere with my daily life.

These usually last about a week to two weeks a month and subside after, you know after my friend comes. But, that little bastard doesn't seem to want to come this month. This has happened the last time I trained hard and lost some weight. I didn't get it for like 6-8months.

It really sucks because I am so cranky, I just hate everything and everyone right now, I am completely EXHAUSTED all the time, my back is KILLING ME, I want to eat everything in the house. And by the way that's just what I did the other night. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, all I have in the house are healthy things so I ended up downing the following; 6 pitted dates, an extra apple, an extra egg white, 5 dried pineapple rings, cup of Kashi 7 whole grain cereal puffs with skim, 30 grams of a whole wheat baguette, I think there might have been some cold yams and I'm sure there is some other things I can't think of now...anyway this was after my evening snack so I already had consumed all my food for the day. Even after that I was still hungry but I made myself go to bed. I really want to eat something else tonight but right now I am just too tired to move.

I trained Capoeira tonight and my lack of coordination, focus, extreme fatigue and backache made it really freaking difficult. I had to fight hard not to just pick up and walk out of class. Then I came home and had to do my timed jumps. That sucked even more. My shins are so sore and I couldn't keep a rhythm to save my life. Ugh...I think I'm done for the night. Going to bed. Can't wait till this time next week when I can feel like myself again.

Day 28

Coming clean...
It snowed like crazy here yesterday. I woke up a little earlier to shovel my back steps and a porch so that Chewie wouldn't break her leg going out in the morning. Here are some snow pics.
Chewie in the snow, AM.
The yard in the PM.

I was so sluggish at work. I even fell asleep at my desk for about 2 minutes. I as awaken by that startling head nod that happens when you fall asleep sitting up. I wanted to make it to Capoeira that night but by the time I got home from work all I wanted to do was curl up on the couch and watch a good movie as the snow fell outside. So that's exactly what I did. Instead of going to class or doing my PCP work out, I put on my PJs. I ate my PCP dinner and then I curled up on the couch with Chewie and my indulgence. A giant bowl of air popped popcorn with a little spray butter on it. Once the bowl was gone I still felt like I didn't do my indulgence any justice so I had a piece of a whole wheat baguette with some sugar-free strawberry jelly and a little more spray butter. I know it probably sounds lame to you but I liked it. I never made it through the movie. I passed out at 8:30. I woke up this morning still feeling like I could have slept another 6 hours, but I had to go to work. I'm feeling a little better but still in a pissy mood. I saw Patrick's email with the new portions and I am not happy about it. Even smaller than last week. I'm really really worried that my Capoeira training will have to take a back seat if I have to stick with these new exercises. There is no way my body will be able to handle both. I'm feeling very conflicted right now and rethinking if this program is even worth it.

Why the hell did I decide to sign up for this????